'Oh, I’m not living without sex. Bloody hell!' VANESSA FELTZ on dating a year after her split from love rat Ben Ofoedu and what it felt like to finally spend an evening alone after 390 nights out in a row...
Vanessa Feltz is gracefully spinning around her living room, her skirts swirling like a mesmerizing dance. It's truly captivating to witness her movements.
In this moment, she proudly showcases a dress from her own collection, designed to infuse every woman with a touch of Vanessa Feltz's unique flair. Her intention is clear – to offer an opportunity to exude femininity and vibrant energy without relying on revealing attire.
Before I know it, I find myself in Vanessa's downstairs bathroom, slipping one of her creations over my head. Even with my jeans still on underneath, her eyes light up with delight as I emerge, fully "Feltz-ified."
"See?" she exclaims. "You want to twirl too, don't you? Feel pretty and feminine? If you wore this tonight, your husband – assuming you have one – would notice, but in a complimentary way. He would say, 'Oh, you look lovely,' rather than 'Wow, I can't wait to tear it off you!'"
My goodness. You try on one of Vanessa's dresses for a moment, and suddenly you're immersed in her world.
But what exactly is Vanessa Feltz – the charismatic broadcaster, compassionate agony aunt, and weight loss (and regain, and lose again) warrior – doing, not only designing dresses, but also modeling them for an online fashion brand?
"I know!" she exclaims. "Believe me, I understand the irony. I'm the least likely person to be a model, but I'm doing it for all the unseen women who have been overlooked by the fashion industry. There are many of us out there."
While I'm not entirely convinced that Vanessa Feltz, at 61, has ever gone unnoticed, it's undeniably impressive to have the opportunity for a face-to-face meeting in her beautiful home.
And what a remarkable home it is – a Gothic mansion in the highly sought-after neighborhood of St John's Wood in London, once owned by Charles Saatchi. Although the advertising mogul resided next door, he utilized this house solely for hosting parties.
Yet, Vanessa has spent very little time in her extraordinary living room over the past year. Last Sunday, she took to Instagram to announce that she had finally enjoyed an evening alone at home, accompanied only by a plate of chicken schnitzel and her own thoughts.
Prior to that, she had made a point of being out every single evening – a consistent streak of 390 days.
Where was she going? "To functions, parties, the cinema – anywhere, really. Just out."
But why? "I simply didn't want to return to an empty house. I imagined it would be silent, lonely, and I would feel miserable." The surprising revelation, which she genuinely seems thrilled about, is that it wasn't miserable at all.
"It was perfectly fine," she confesses, still finding it difficult to believe that the ceiling didn't cave in and she wasn't compelled to seek out company, perhaps any random passerby.
"I enjoyed my schnitzel. I watched a documentary, although I can't recall its subject matter, but it was quite interesting. Then, I went to bed."
Just like countless single individuals do day in and day out, without any fanfare.
"Yes, and I shouldn't have built it up to be such a monumental event, but now that I've experienced it, I can move forward."
It has been slightly over a year since Vanessa's personal life took a devastating turn. She discovered that Ben Ofoedu, the singer and her partner of 16 years, had been unfaithful.
As the headlines swirled, it felt eerily familiar. Vanessa's first marriage, to surgeon Michael Kurer, the father of her children, had ended in a similar manner in 2000. However, this time, she chose to confront the situation head-on. She openly shared her heartbreak, reluctantly acknowledging it as yet another qualification for her career as a TV agony aunt.
Vanessa Feltz Reflects on Challenging Year and Embraces New Beginnings
"It's fair to say that 2023 was not a good year," Vanessa Feltz candidly admits. Reflecting on her experiences, she expresses feelings of being crushed, disappointed, and shocked. However, she emphasizes her resilience, having navigated through an entire year and still standing strong. "What can you do? You have to get up," she asserts. For any woman who has placed trust in the wrong person, Vanessa's words resonate deeply.
Vanessa Feltz is a larger-than-life personality. She exudes boldness, wit, and a willingness to wear her heart on her sleeve. She loves and lusts with an epic intensity.
During her interviews, Vanessa would often share intimate details about her life with Ben, her former partner. In one instance, she humorously revealed, "I was peeling the vegetables for dinner one day – and ended up leaving a trail of celery and leeks for him, leading to me, spread-eagled on the bed in what I hoped was an alluring position!" Looking back, she realizes that perhaps making soup would have been a better choice.
While Vanessa doesn't go into great detail about what went wrong, she acknowledges the palpable loss that comes when trust is shattered. "It's over, gone, done. I'm not talking about him. I don't even want his name mentioned. Can you call him X?" she requests.
However, she wants to clarify one misconception propagated by Ben—her aversion to marriage. "It has been alleged that I don't want to get married, that I'm against marriage in general. That is not the case. I loved being married," Vanessa clarifies. She admits that she would happily marry again if she found someone she adored, emphasizing that it's not marriage itself that she rejects but rather marrying the wrong person.
Initially, Vanessa's response to her unhappily single status was to actively seek a new partner. She participated in the reality TV show "Celebs Go Dating," but her behavior was criticized as "rude" and "arrogant" towards the show's romance experts. In her defense, she points out that the man she was paired with was strikingly similar to the one who had recently broken her heart. Declining the date politely, she called out the producers, saying, "The last thing I want is some itinerant musician. I've had that."
Has she been on other dates since then? "Oh yes, loads. All sorts. Some nice, some not. But you want that spark, don't you? It would take someone really special, I think. I want it all: the romance, the companionship. The ideal is someone to grow old with," she admits, while cautioning that she needs to be careful about who she lets into her life. Yet, she assures that she is not in a state of panic about finding love.
The question arises: Why does Vanessa feel the need for a partner at all? She has a beautiful house, four adorable grandchildren, and a celebrated broadcasting career that has spanned decades. With her first-class degree from Cambridge, one might assume she could recognize that she doesn't need a man.
"I don't need a man," Vanessa agrees. "I just think I'm better with one. I just don't see any evidence that I am suited to being single." While she admires her friend Linda Robson, who openly embraces being content with her children and family, Vanessa acknowledges that her upbringing instilled in her the expectation of marriage and marrying well. It's deeply ingrained in her.
Since her breakup, Vanessa has received support from her showbiz friends. Rylan Clark, who had experienced his own split, was one of the first to lend support. Myleene Klass has also been a "great pal" who stood by Vanessa when she found herself a single mother in 2012. Vanessa fondly recalls Myleene's visit, with a toddler and baby in tow, and how she wanted to offer her support, just as Myleene had supported her.
Holly Willoughby is another friend who has been there for Vanessa. She describes Holly as an intuitive person who can sense when something is wrong in someone's life even before they share it.
Given Vanessa's openness about her sex life during her relationship with Ben, one wonders how she has adjusted to being single. "Oh, I'm not living without sex. Bloody hell!" she exclaims. She clarifies that she is single but not celibate. As a refined lady, she doesn't elaborate further, stating, "Let's just say... furrows have been ploughed."
Vanessa has always had a strong interest in sex, even earning herself the nickname "Vanessa The Undresser" during her school days. She finds it irksome when people assume that at 61, she might be less interested in sex than she was at40 or 50. "I don't think there's an age limit on being interested in sex, is there?" she challenges. Vanessa believes that sexual desire is a natural part of being human, regardless of age.
As she looks ahead to the future, Vanessa is embracing new beginnings and focusing on her career. She has been hosting her radio show on BBC Radio London for over a decade and continues to be a popular figure in the media industry. She has also expressed interest in writing a book about her experiences, sharing her wisdom and insights with others.
Vanessa Feltz is a resilient and determined woman who has faced challenges head-on. Despite the heartbreak and disappointment she experienced in 2023, she remains hopeful and open to finding love again. With her vivacious personality and zest for life, it's clear that Vanessa will continue to embrace new opportunities and live life to the fullest.
Comments
Post a Comment